The journey to the Singapore marathon

Tuesday morning, 13 July 2017. I am lying in bed in one of Singapore’s apartments and listening to the noise, which only someone preparing for the busy office day can produce. I feel strange, as I would see it coming, that the day will not be what I was expecting it to be. What we wold hoped it to be. Sadness catching my soul, I decided to run away and watch short travel movies which are on my to do list since winter.

Monday evening, 15 October 2018. I am sitting in a bus of a questionable quality, which drives me through Myanmar. During the past year I have thought many times about that Singapore Tuesday morning in July 2017 and I was thinking, how things went. How they should have gone. On that Tuesday morning I caught myself with tears on my face. I knew something is not ok. I didn’t yet know what exactly. The cry stopped after a while, but the vision about a big change stayed.

Sunday morning, August 2017, one week after I returned from Singapore to Prague. It is difficult to describe with words the shock and pain caused by one simple message in the phone. Only few days ago I was still holding her in my arms, in front of the Singapore underground, and today? Today the love ends… I cannot believe.

August 2017, end of the month, end of the summer. She is gone, forever, nothing will bring her back. She left… what stayed is an unbelievable demand for change. To leave somewhere, to experience something, to get out. Just out of here, somewhere, where it all will make more sense. Or no sense. Doesn‘t matter.

Monday evening, 15 October 2018. I am sitting in a night bus of a questionable quality, which drives me through Myanmar. The never-ending curves will kill me. I am thinking about what it will be for a feeling returning to the city, which broke my heart once. In the beginning of all the planning I thought I will avoid this city on my journey, however the wish to find the inner peace was stronger. I am a fighter thus I decided to fight. I don’t want to look back in future and blame this amazing city for the pain caused.

Spring 2018, March. Today I will definitely decide, that I want to return. I want to walk through hell in order to start living again. It will be the last step to the purification, last step on the way of forgetting. On the way of forgiving. For one more time and forever. It will be like a purgatory. All the heat, all the humidity. It will be a marathon.

Monday, 29 October 2018. Today life will again change everything. Today I am starting new. What was, that was… and it was, so what is now, could be.

Today, here and now. I am ready. To move on, to stand on the starting line, to give all. Make it happen. Leaving forever, with a memory to a marathon hell of Singapore. With peace on mind and with the heart open.

Sunday early morning 09 December 2018, starting line. Today I know, that she broke my heart, so I can find myself. So I can change something. So I can run the happiness against. So I can meet it again, on the other end of the world. This is how it was supposed to be.

Singapore… Today I would be thinking of YOU for the last time. I wish you only the best.

Today, it will all close. I am ready. I feel great. And that’s the way it is.

See you in the finish.